I was running around on Saturday doing some errands and thought it would be a good time to talk with S about Easter. I told him that some people believe in a God and think of him as kind of like a papa that they can't see. They believe that this God had a son named Jesus and that Jesus was killed. Three days later he was resurrected. We talk a moment about what resurrection means and all that. Then I talked about how Gluby doesn't believe there is a God and that I am not sure if I believe that there is a God or not. So some people believe there is, and some believe there isn't, and some aren't sure.
And then I talk about the Easter Bunny and that he is like Santa Claus. Not real, but it's kinda fun to hunt for easter eggs and get candy. That was the best part of the conversation for him. Yum!
So, later that night we are dying easter eggs and, out of nowhere, he asks, "Mama, how do you and Papa mate?" I try not to drop the egg I am painting onto the counter.
"How do we mate? Well, basically we get naked and then Papa inserts his penis into my vagina." (I know, I am leaving out all the good parts.)
"Oh. Is it hard?"
At this point I was trying really, really hard not to smile or laugh or send him to Gluby because I know he will get a kick out of his question. But instead I say, "No. It's usually pretty easy."
And then he asks if it's harder when Papa is on the bottom (what?!!? Oh, yah, he's been watching nature movies. Take a deep breath) Again, I am tempted to send him to Gluby to ask this because I know he'll get a kick out of it, but I don't give in to the temptation. "Um, well, I don't think so." And we eventually move on to another subject.
Ten minutes later my mother calls and I talk to her for a bit. Then M, our 21-month old wants to say hi. So I give him the phone. Then S wants to say hi. Panic sets in. Is he going to talk about how we are dying easter eggs and that some people believe easter is about Jesus' resurrection, but that his Mama doesn't believe in God? Or is he going to say that it's not hard for his Mama and Papa to mate? So, when I hand him the phone I ever so deftly say, "S, tell Grandma all about the egg you are painting!" And then I pray, to whom I have no idea, but I pray anyway, that he does not mention anything about God or mating.
Fortunately for everyone involved he only talked about the purple egg he was coloring with green glow-in-the-dark paint.
I know some (many? most?) people will not agree with how I handled either conversation. How would you all have told your kids about other people's belief in God, your dis/belief in God, and/or sex