What kind of shake?!

Warning - this post is about bowel movements (no, not mine!). Keep reading at your own volition (Thanks for the great word, Sid!)

I was reading someone's blog this last weekend, (Thanks LM and Exvestigator!! ) and found a couple of posts about their DD not being able to go to the bathroom for a couple of days due to a camping trip (8/27 and 9/09 were the posting dates). After having been home for a time it became apparent that the child needed to go to the ER to help her out. Everything came out all right in the end, (sorry, I just had to do it) but it reminded me of the 6 months or so that we struggled with our oldest child.

He had a bowel movement (BM) that was large enough to make him tear and bleed a bit. I figured he'd heal up and be fine, but over the course of the next couple of weeks it kept tearing a little and bleeding. And, of course, hurting. Eventually he started to get scared to go and he went 4 days without going. I called the dr. and they said to go get children's suppositories. By the time I got back from the store he had gone, but he had been rolling on the bed and screaming because his abdomen had started to hurt from holding it in. This started a horrible cycle that took months to get out of. (knock on wood, I hope we are out of that cycle!) We'd spend 2-4 hours trying to get him to go. This became a daily battle because if he waited even one day it might hurt the next day because it was too large or hard. Or he'd be so scared that it would hurt that he'd hold it in. I won't go in to details here, but it was hell.

I was talking with a friend about this and she told me what she does (her DD is still having problems and it has been going on for years. They finally have an appointment to go see a specialist). Anyway, what she does is give her homemade strawberry lemonade and a shake. I don't remember the exact recipe I used for the lemonade, but I do remember there was a lot less sugar and only real lemons could be used (for the diuretic affect), but I still use the shake. I'll post the recipe I use for anyone who may need to use it to help keep things flowing for their little ones.

"Caca" Shake - makes about 12 ounces of shake (I think, I've never really measured. I just know it's about the right recipe for my two boys)

1/4 -1/3 of a can of canned pear juice (make sure you buy the canned pears that are canned in pear juice not syrup)
1-2 tsp wheat germ
1-2 pear halves
1-2 tablespoons of vanilla yogurt (the less sugar the better, of course)
2 frozen peach slices
1-2 frozen strawberries
4-6 frozen blueberries
1-3 frozen raspberries
1/6 of a banana to tone down the tartness of the berries. Don't use a lot of banana because it can help stop things up, if you know what I mean. To make thing easier I usually cut the ripe bananas into 6-8 pieces and then pop them in the freezer to use as needed.

At first I gave this to him every day. Then, after he started having BMs regularly without any physical pain or emotional struggle, I would give it to him every other day. Now I do it 1-2 times a week. Sometimes less than that.

I know most of you out there will say "duh" to this, but I'll say it anyway. Remember to increase water intake along with increased fiber intake and, if possible, take the child to the doctor if things continue to go badly. The psychological problems can take months, or longer, to get over if things aren't taken care of quickly.

One choclate universe on a sugar cone coming right up

I have been thinking a lot about the emptiness I feel and how paralyzing and overwhelming the questions in life have become for me. It's like a toddler with way too many choices. What kind of ice cream do you want? Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, orange sherbet, cookies and cream, oreo, chocolate fudge, pecan, toffee, coffee, green tea, neopolitan, etc...Ok honey, now pick which one you want.

I was told growing up that there was One True Ice Cream and now I have the opportunity to find the ice cream that I chose to be the best for me. That entails finding out what kids of ice creams exist and that can be daunting. Unlike most ice creams shops, the ice creams I can chose from are not in one location. Part of me feels tired and just doesn't have the energy to figure out what I believe, and another part of me is tired because I don't have much of anything that I believe in anymore.

Because of you

You may have noticed, for those few who still read my blog, that I haven't really posted in awhile. I'm not sure where to start really. So much has happened that I haven't written about that I want to write about. I think I'll start with what has been going through my head today.

The first time I heard Because of You, by Kelly Clarkson, it was her duet with Reba McEntire (who I sometimes like) on TV and I flipped the channel 5 seconds after they started. Eventually, over time, I heard more and more of the song from flipping radio station channels and it started to grow on me. Then, about a month ago, I heard it on the way home and started to cry when I realized this song applied to me. I will post all of the lyrics but I'll only comment on those that really struck home with me.

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt

Because of the church I learned never to stray from the sidewalk
and I learned to play on the safe side so I wouldn't get hurt.
Sounds like a good thing, right?  Sort of.  I wish I had been taught to
stay in places where I would be safe, or how to be safe if I left the
sidewalk, for logical reasons, real reasons.  Not ones that would make
me so afraid to stray from the sidewalk that I would have a difficult time
walking at all.

Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of the church I find it hard to trust myself or anyone else and I am
very afraid.  Of everything.  I had a hard time trusting God so how on earth
do I trust someone who isn't supposed to be perfect?  How do I learn how to trust?

I wish I had been taught that people will hurt me and I will hurt others, sometimes
knowingly and purposefully, other times accidentally, and that is just a part of life.
People make mistakes and that's ok and no one is going to hell or will be kept from
their most beloved family members because of it.

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh

I faked so much hoping and believing it would make it so.  I think I even felt that
faking it did make it so because it would eventually happen.  I had been given that
promise in General Conference talks, so that meant  if I faked it the way they said
I should that it would eventually come and that made it as good as done.   I also
faked it because I felt that if I wasn't showing happiness then others would know I
was unhappy and think/see me as the unrighteous person that I felt I was.

Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

I worked very hard to not question or to make the round peg fit in the square hole.
I didn't listen to reason unless it fit within the church's doctrine or cultural
beliefs.  I did what they told me to do and was critical of the world and other
religions, but I did my best to “strengthen” my “testimony” in every way I could.
I tried to forget everything and everyone that didn't fit.  I don't know how to
trust anyone, most especially myself, and right now I just feel a black whole in
my heart.

Because of you
Because of you

If Reba McEntire gets on your nerves and you want to watch it with just Kelly Clarkson, you can go here.

The answer you've all been waiting for (drum roll please)

Why, the man of course!

Riddles and Piddles

There is a man and a dog by a tree in the city of Los Angeles and one of them is peeing. Which one is it?