Oh, that elephant?

Gluby and I had an interesting IM conversation this afternoon while I was trying to study and just kind of comprehend what I did last night. glubyglobglob: you there? lb: yes glubyglobglob: Try and think of one really stressful thing I could tell you. lb: um, one of the kids is hurt and needs to go to the dr. lb: or they are dead lb: bleeding to death glubyglobglob: How about something like, your parents are in the living room. lb: you want to spend $1,000 lb: ha lb: ok, now that made my heart jump glubyglobglob: That would be funny, wouldn't it? lb: um, no lb: really lb: my heart is still pumping glubyglobglob: If your mother was on the floor sitting with 2 looking at blocks. glubyglobglob: If your father was sitting on the fireplace bricks. glubyglobglob: Now that would be ... lb: please tell me you aren't serious glubyglobglob: They're here, honey. lb: because my heart is seriously pounding glubyglobglob: I am dead serious. lb: what? glubyglobglob: No jokes. glubyglobglob: No playing. glubyglobglob: They drove. lb: please lb: please glubyglobglob: Sweetheart. lb: please tell me you aren't serious lb: please glubyglobglob: No jokes. lb: I know glubyglobglob: I would NEVER play with you like this. glubyglobglob: Not for longer than an instant. lb: I think I am going to faint glubyglobglob: So much for waiting til Sunday. lb: do they know that you have talked with me? glubyglobglob: About the church? glubyglobglob: No. glubyglobglob: I just told them I would check on something. lb: did they ask where I was? glubyglobglob: I told them you're out studying. glubyglobglob: What do you want me to tell them? lb: that I am still out studying glubyglobglob: Not coming now? lb: and I am never coming home Ok, so I obviously did go home, but not before I hyperventilated and tried calling A. twice (using someone else's cell phone - what a nice person). While I was Instant Messaging Gluby I considered having him tell my parents that he wasn't able to get a hold of me and then I could take an hour or two to avoid them, but we realized that it would just drag things out for everyone and that I needed to be honest with myself and well as with them. I did drive to A.'s house so I could share my woes with her, but she wasn't home, so I decided I had just better go home. It was probably better this way anyway because I have to do this on my own and crying to A. would just make me feel even more like I didn't want to face this alone (well, of course Gluby is there, but you all know what I mean). This is what I wrote on FLAK about today: Thanks everyone. This is one of those things I'll laugh about later, right? Well, so far things have gone better than I imagined. By the time I finally got home I was as composed as I could be. I walked in the door and gave my 5 yr old a hug and saw my dad. I gave him a big hug and then walked into the front room where my mom was playing with our 2 yr old. We hugged for about 2 minutes and we didn't say anything. We just hugged and it felt loving and nice. We haven't talked about anything dealing with the church or the letter yet. Partly because we went out to eat and ended up going to the store for necessities and didn't get home until after 10:00. By the time the kids were in bed, and their bed was put up, it was pretty late and everyone was tired. So, if anything is said it will be tomorrow before they leave. The nice part about tonight has been that we all know there is an elephant in the room that will be acknowledged, but that it isn't uncomfortable. Part of me wonders if we will talk about it at all before they leave. I can actually see my parents coming out here (a 9 hour drive) to let me know that they love me, that they understand things have been hard and just want to be with me. Of course, I can also see them bringing it up as tactfully and lovingly as they can. And if they overstep any boundaries I want to have up I'll kindly and lovingly let them know. Another nice thing is that none of this is fake, not on their part and not on my part, though we all know that they wish I still believed. I know that there will be times of frustration, with passive-aggressive, angry crap that will come my way, but today wasn't that day, and for that I am grateful. So, wish me luck, fellow bloggers, and that things will continue to go well for all of the involved parties. P.S. Gluby did get a smack for playing with me at the beginning of the conversation. Obnoxious little sh......